The Life and Legacy of William D. Jenkins - "Mr. Bill" Enters Chapter Eternal

A memorial service will take place for Bill on October 26th, 2024 at 1:00pm at the Oxford Presbyterian Church (101 N Main St, Oxford, OH 45056)

William D. Jenkins (1937-2024)

William D. Jenkins (Bowling Green 1957) entered chapter eternal on September 23, 2024, following a long illness. “Mr. Bill” as he was affectionately known, was one of the most consequential leaders in Phi Kappa Tau and in the greater Greek community for more than half a century. Bill was a giant in the Greek world. No Phi Tau except Jack Anson, Colgate ’47 comes close to matching Bill’s influence on that community and its leaders.

Born and raised in Ravenna, Ohio November 9, 1937, near Cleveland, He enrolled in Bowling Green State University, majored in business, later changing his major to art and joined the marching band. He was invited to join Beta Tau Chapter and was initiated on January 18, 1957. He attended his first National Convention in Pasadena, California in 1958 where he met Founders Shideler and Borradaile, Roland Maxwell and other Phi Tau luminaries. At the time of his death, he held the record for having attended more conventions than any Phi Tau alive. This connection to the national fraternity inspired him to accept an offer to join the fraternity’s professional staff as a field secretary upon his graduation. National Secretary Richard J. Young retired shortly after Jenkins’ arrival on the staff and when the assistant secretary, Jack Anson was not immediately appointed to replace Dick Young, Bill was appointed acting national secretary.

Jenkins with Founder Borradaile

By the time Anson returned to the staff as National Secretary, Bill had been drafted and was away in the service, returning in 1964 and quickly becoming Anson’s assistant and right-hand man. He remained in that position until 1970 when Anson left to become the Executive Director of the National Interfraternity Conference, now North American Interfraternity Conference (NIC), as it was then known and he assumed the recently re-named role as Executive Director of Phi Kappa Tau. His time in that position was challenging. In the tumultuous years of the 1970s, the popularity of fraternities waned. Chapters closed. Others defaulted on loans and revenues to support fraternity operations dwindled. After the better part of two decades on the Phi Tau staff, Bill left in 1978 to work for Compolith Graphics in Indianapolis which served the Greek community. As a well-known leader in the Greek world, Bill soon joined the fund-raising firm of Development Dynamics Group in St. Louis. At DDG, he provided sage fundraising counsel to a long list of fraternity and sorority clients and his unique style of writing fund raising letters raised millions of dollars for his clients, mentoring countless development professionals along the way.

Jenkins at his desk at the Executive Offices

Bill left DDG for the opportunity to serve his alma mater as the assistant vice president and director of development at Bowling Green State University. He enjoyed the chance to serve Bowling Green but Phi Tau came calling and he returned to Oxford in 1991 to become executive director of the Phi Kappa Tau Foundation, the role that would be the capstone to his career. Bill greatly expanded the role of the Foundation, assuming responsibility for the Laurel and expanding the professional staff. He engaged heavily with the Fraternity’s new national philanthropy, now known as SeriousFun Children’s Network. He volunteered as a cabin counselor at SeriousFun camps and found it to be a life-changing experience, often tearing up as he described the interactions with the children he met at camp. Prior to his retirement in 2006, Bill assumed the role of Centennial Coordinator, taking on responsibility for the Centennial Garden fund raising and construction.

Always a leader in the interfraternity movement, Bill was appointed to fill the unexpired term on board of the North American Interfraternity Conference (NIC) held by Walter G. “Sonny” Strange, Auburn ’70 who died in 1992. Bill was a distinguished member of the NIC board for a decade and was elected president, becoming the only Phi Tau since Roland Maxwell to hold that distinguished office. In 2005, he joined Roland Maxwell, Ewing Boles and Jack Anson to become the fourth Phi Tau to be awarded the NIC’s Gold Medal, its highest award. The NIC’s Foundation Section, now known as the Foundation for Fraternal Excellence (FFE) annually awards the William D. Jenkins Outstanding Foundation Professional Award in Bill’s honor.

Jenkins (Center, Beige Coat) with several former Phi Kappa Tau Executive Offices Staff Members.

In Phi Kappa Tau, Bill received every significant alumnus award given, including the Borradaile Alumnus Award and the Palm Award. He was among the inaugural class inducted into the Fraternity’s Hall of Fame at the Fraternity’s Centennial celebration in 2006 which he helped to orchestrate in grand style, memorably narrating a series of historical videos at the final banquet. The Fraternity’s award for Interfraternal Excellence is named for him. He is a recipient of the Jack L. Anson Award from the Association of Fraternity Advisors and the Distinguished Service Award from the Fraternity Executives Association. Numerous other Greek organizations have recognized Bill for his service to the interfraternity movement.

And while fraternity took up much of Bill’s life, he was far from one-dimensional. He was a passionate, life-long baseball fan. He particularly loved the St. Louis Cardinals and enjoyed his time in St. Louis where he was able to attend games. He collected baseballs, visited major league ballparks and vacationed around spring training when he could. His son Doug said that during Bill’s final days, he knew he was feeling a little better when he began to complain about the Cincinnati Reds payroll.

Jenkins volunteering at Camp Boggy Creek, a SeriousFun Children’s Network Camp

He was a devoted family man as well. He was married twice, his first marriage ending in divorce but producing his loving sons Chuck and Doug who was his primary caregiver in his last years. He met his second wife Carmalieta, a Delta Gamma executive, at ceremonies recognizing the bicentennial of the American College Fraternity at Williamsburg in December 1976. Bill and Carmalieta were married in December 1982 and were inseparable for the remainder of Carmalieta’s life. Bill was her devoted caregiver as her health declined and was her constant companion, even when she was forced to move into a care facility.

Bill devoted much his community leadership to the Oxford Kiwanis Club, which he first joined in 1964 and served as its president in 1971. He rejoined the club on his return to Oxford in 1991 and faithfully attended meetings and activities as long as his health permitted. He also became known in his retirement years as Santa, even growing his own white beard to add to the authenticity. He appeared throughout the Oxford and Hamilton communities, delighting children and adults. He became a fixture at the annual Phi Tau Christmas office party.

Bill always had an creative and artistic flair which was reflected in his use of language, attention to detail, his distinctive handwriting and lower-case signature and his eye for graphic design. In retirement, he turned his attention to drawing and painting, often making gifts of his artwork and offering them charity auctions and sales.

To his legions of friends, Bill will be remembered for his meticulous and natty appearance, his warmth, his humanity, his good stories, thoughtful notes and his bad jokes.

And perhaps the most lasting legacy to Bill in Phi Kappa Tau will be our cherished Candlelight Ceremony. Penned by Bill for the closing banquet of the 1975 National Convention, Honored Founder Taylor Borradaile’s last Convention, the ceremony has been conducted hundreds of times as a moving capstone to national and chapter events. Bill loved to tailor the ceremony to each event where he conducted it but finally agreed on a standard version which has been included as one of the Fraternity’s public Rituals. A fitting end to each Candlelight Ceremony and to Bill’s memory are the words from the Brotherhood Song “We’ll meet again in heaven, sure, in the name of Phi Kappa Tau.”

Phi Kappa Tau Brotherhood Assessment FAQ

If you are reading this you are likely an undergraduate member or a Phi Kappa Tau volunteer. We hope this list of frequently asked questions will help you to better understand the Phi Kappa Tau Brotherhood Assessment.

What is the purpose of the Survey? 

  • In order to get a more accurate picture of the strengths and areas of improvement for Ph Kappa Tau, we will be partnering with Dyad Strategies to administer a simple survey to our entire undergraduate membership. The purpose of which is to provide better resources for groups long term, backed by the data from our membership itself.  

Who gets to take the survey?  

  • All undergraduates, including new members. The assessment will be sent to each member INDIVIDUALLY via email, to the email address listed in Phi Kappa Tau Portal. The survey link is unique for each person and will not work if it’s forwarded to other people.   

How long will it take?  

  • The entire survey will take 25 – 30 minutes to complete.  

What’s the deadline? 

  • Ideally the survey is completed at the first chapter meeting you hold after receiving the survey via email. Chapters will have until November 5th, 2024 to complete the survey in a timely manner.

Does everyone have to take it?  

  • We hope everyone will. Chapter presidents will receive weekly reports showing exactly who – and who hasn’t – completed the survey. To get statistically significant results, each chapter needs to have 60% of their members complete the survey. 

Are the results confidential? 

  • Results are confidential and intended for internal use, individual results will not be made public nor will your chapter’s leadership have access to your response.  

Members who don’t receive the survey email 

  • If you do not receive the survey via email it is likely due to a minor database error, please have your chapter president reach out to their Success Manager to resolve the issue. 

Help! We have problems!  

  • Please refer to your Chapter Consultant for diagnosing email issues, participation issues, general concerns, etc. 

What will the weekly participation reports look like?  

  • The chapter president will get a weekly participation report. It will be a simple excel sheet that lists overall participation statistics for your chapter, plus a detailed report of each member and his survey status. For instance, you’ll be able to see that 72% of the chapter started the survey and 67% completed the survey.  

  • Then, for an individual member, you can see if he received the email, opened the email, started the survey, or completed the survey. You won’t be able to see any survey answers, just the completion status.  

  • This is how you’ll be able to offer incentives to individuals who complete the survey quickly and follow up with members who haven’t started it yet 

What if people don’t answer seriously? Will that affect our chapter results?  

  • Possibly. This survey is for the benefit of chapter leaders, to provide direct feedback from your members. If students give dishonest or glib answers, that will affect your results. The survey tabulation software has some built-in controls for “fake data,” so one or two goofballs won’t skew your results. The best way to prevent this is to build excitement for the survey, offer incentives, and make it a priority for the fall term. 

What if we don’t agree with what the report says?  

  • The Brotherhood Assessment will convey feedback directly from your members. It’s possible that what your members say is different from your own thoughts and assumptions. That’s OK. The chapter report is intended as a starting point for information and conversation about the culture of your chapter.  

Will the results be used for any disciplinary action against a chapter?  

  • No. The questions are about the attitudes and experiences of your members. There aren’t any questions about specific incidents or events. 

The Winners Are...

 See below for a list of winners for this year’s Awards of Distinction. For a PDF version of this list please click here.

PHI KAPPA TAU AWARDS OF DISTINCTION 

(ANNOUNCED JULY 2024 FOR THE 2023 CALENDAR YEAR) 

⭐⭐⭐ 

CHAPTER  AWARDS 

Roland Maxwell Outstanding Chapter | Top Chapter 

Beta Beta, Louisville  

Founders Four Chapters | Top Four Chapters 

Phi, Bethany 

Chi, North Carolina State 

Alpha Kappa, Washington State 

Beta Beta, Louisville  

Harold E. Angelo Award | Most Improved Chapter 

Alpha Kappa, Washington State 

Jack Jareo Award | Outstanding Newsletter 

Upsilon, Nebraska Wesleyan 

Richard Massock Award | Best Chapter Alumni Event  

Phi, Bethany 

Gamma Alpha, Michigan Tech  

Best New Associate Class | Best New Associate Class 

Epsilon Nu, Clemson   

Ross E. Roeder Award | Best BOG 

Kappa, Kentucky 

Academic Excellence | Chapter GPA above 3.0 or above AMA 

Alpha, Miami 

Delta, Centre 

Epsilon, Mount Union 

Upsilon, Nebraska Wesleyan 

Phi, Bethany 

Alpha Gamma, Delaware 

Alpha Kappa, Washington State 

Alpha Rho, Georgia Tech 

Alpha Tau, Cornell 

Alpha Chi, Mississippi State 

Alpha Omega, Baldwin Wallace 

Beta Beta, Louisville 

Beta Theta, Kansas 

Beta Omicron, Maryland 

Gamma Alpha, Michigan Tech 

Gamma Mu, Bradley 

Delta Kappa, Tennesse 

Zeta Alpha, Belmont 

Zeta Zeta, Illinois-Springfield 

Zeta Xi, South Carolina 

Zeta Omicron, Arizona State 

Zeta Pi, Boston  

George V. Voinovich Excellence in Community Service Award | Most Community Service Hours  

Chi, North Carolina State 

Community Service Scroll | Chapters that average 20 service hours per member 

Chi, North Carolina State 

Epsilon, Mount Union 

Delta Lambda, Muskingum 

Zeta Epsilon, Lynchburg  

Frederick R. Fletemeyer Prize | Outstanding Associate Chapter Award 

Epsilon Nu, Clemson  

Monoroe Moosnick Scholarship Trophy | Top Chapter GPA 

Alpha Tau, Cornell 

Order of the Star | Borradaile Challenge Rating 

Alpha, Miami 

Upsilon, Nebraska Wesleyan 

Alpha Rho, Georgia Tech 

Beta Beta, Lousiville 

Delta Lambda, Mukingum 

Delta Nu, Wright State 

Delta Rho, Eastern Kentucky 

Zeta Alpha, Belmont 

Zeta Omicron, Arizona State  

Recruitment Pacesetter Award 

Beta, Ohio 

Alpha Gamma, Michigan Tech 

Alpha Tau, Cornell 

Beta Beta, Louisville 

Beta Chi, Southern Illinois 

Beta Omega, Chico 

Beta Xi, Georgia 

Delta Kappa, Tennesse 

Delta Lambda, Muskingum 

Epsilon Nu, Clemson 

Epsilon Sigma, Chapman 

Gamma Beta, Cincinatti 

Omicron, Penn State 

Zeta Alpha, Belmont 

Zeta Xi, South Carolina  

Paul Newman Award | Highest Dollar amount donated to SeriousFun 

Beta Beta, Louisville  

Norm W. Brown Philanthropy Scroll | Donated more than $2000 charity  

Delta, Centre 

Upsilon, Nebraska Wesleyan 

Phi, Bethany 

Chi, NC State 

Alpha Gamma, Delaware 

Alpha Rho, Georgia Tech 

Alpha Chi, Mississippi State 

Alpha Omega, Baldwin Wallace 

Beta Beta, Louisville 

Beta Gamma, Ole Miss 

Beta Chi, Southern Illinois 

Gamma Xi, East Central 

Sonny Strange Recruitment Award | Top Recruitment/Retention Award 

Delta Kappa, Tennessee 

Excellence in Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion Award (Chapter) | Chapter DEIA Award 

Lambda, Purdue University  

⭐⭐⭐ 

INDIVIDUAL AWARDS 

Taylor A. Borradaile Undergraduate Memorial Award | Top Undergraduate 

Tanner Schultz, Louisville  

William Henry Shideler Award | Outstanding Senior 

Max Draus, Nebraska Wesleyan  

Dwight I. Douglass President’s Award | Top Chapter President 

Keegan Tingle, Louisville (Beta Beta)  

Best New Associate

Tavyn Likosky, Baldwin Wallace (Alpha Omega)  

Jack Anson Award | Outstanding Interfraternal service to their community 

Zachary Schubert, Kansas (Beta Theta) 

Clinton D. Boyd VPAR Award | Best VPAR 

Nolan Eatherton, Nebraska Wesleyan (Upsilon)  

Dr. Edgar Ewing Brandon Award | Outstanding Advisor 

Jeff Moser, Tennesse (Delta Kappa)  

Greg Hollen Associate Chapter President Award | Best Associate Chapter President 

Vincent De Luca, East Carolina (Gamma Eta) 

Outstanding Associate Chapter Advisor Award | Outstanding Associate Chapter Advisor 

Tom Gooden, Beta Theta (Kansas) 

Outstanding Greek Advisor Award | Outstanding Greek Advisor 

Carter Lukes, West Virginia University 

Phi Award

Scott Conroe, Alpha Tau (Cornell)

Excellence in Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion Award (Individual) | Individual DEIA Award 

Matt Olson, North Texas (Zeta Theta) 

Orlando Selected for Convention 2025

The location for the 66th National Convention of Phi Kappa Tau has been etched in stone, and it reads... 

Orlando, Florida!  

Wednesday July 23rd—Sunday, July 27th, Phi Taus of all ages will descend upon Embassy Suites by Hilton Orlando, Lake Buena Vista South and commence the most historic celebration of brotherhood this fraternity has ever known. This will culminate in our Brotherhood Banquet taking place on Saturday, July 26th along with a full day of brotherhood activities.

Convention registration, participation packages, and hotel reservations will be available starting September 1st. Attendees that book with the Convention hotel will have their registration discounted. Your stay at the Convention hotel will include free made-to-order breakfast (2 per room) and a complimentary evening reception each day.

In one year, we will Turn the Tide of brotherhood—unifying our organization with the common goal of advancing the Phi Kappa Tau mission to young men all over the country! 

More information on the 2025 Convention is still to come, including details on a theme park trip and several affinity reunions. If you want to be the first to know more information and even receive an early bird discount, click here.

Remembering a Dynamic Leader

The Fraternity and Foundation are saddened to report the death of David A. Ruckman, Ohio State ‘62, a Distinguished Trustee and former chairman of the Phi Kappa Tau Foundation Board of Trustees, following his courageous 20-year battle with Parkinson’s Disease. Dave is remembered for his selfless philanthropy and for his dynamic leadership at the start of Phi Kappa Tau’s second century. 

Initiated into Gamma Chapter in April 1962, Dave was later elected chapter president and continued his support of his chapter and fraternity for more than six decades, retiring from his final term on the Foundation board in April. He was a Trustee of the Foundation for most of last two decades and served as chairman from 2007 until 2014. His philanthropy benefited the national organization and his local chapter. His gifts of time and treasure were recognized with Phi Kappa Tau’s highest honor, the Palm Award in 2014. 

Dave had a distinguished career at Merrill Lynch and mentored countless young members of that firm. As District Director, he supervised over 1000 Merrill Lynch professionals. 

His leadership and philanthropy benefitted his home city of Cleveland where he served on the board of directors of the renowned Cleveland Orchestra and was a major supporter of the Salvation Army. 

He leaves behind his loving wife of 60 years, Marilyn, two daughters, Samantha and Nicole, and four grandchildren. He was preceded in death by his daughter Danielle in 2016. 

While we mourn Dave’s entry into Chapter Eternal, we also celebrate the life of a Phi Tau who leaves behind a legacy of remarkable philanthropy and leadership. We are brothers now and ever… 

A complete obituary may be found here.

Tips for Staying Connected with Your Chapter During Summer

by Craig Krygowski, Southern Illinois ‘17

Summer is the perfect time to unwind after a hectic school year. You can leave the stresses of schoolwork and fraternity responsibilities behind and focus on enjoying the sunshine and relaxing. However, while it's important to recharge, it's equally crucial to stay connected with your chapter and brothers. If you're feeling lonely or bored, chances are, one of your brothers is too. Here are some easy ways to keep in touch with your bros: 

1. The Group Chat 

The infamous group chat. Whether your chapter already has one or not, it's a key tool for staying connected. If things have gone quiet, bring some life back into it! Share a meme or two, post a video from your favorite social event, start a debate about the best fast food, or talk about your plans for the upcoming year. Keeping the conversation going helps maintain the bond and keeps everyone in the loop. 

2. Summer Meet-Up 

Does your chapter plan a summer meet-up? If not, it's time to start! Summer meet-ups are a great way to reconnect, have fun, and get some planning done for the Fall semester. Organize some activities, fire up the grill, and enjoy the company of your brothers you haven't seen in a while. You could even coordinate with other Greek organizations for a big summer event. 

3. Shared Experiences 

Summer is packed with fun and engaging experiences, and at least one of your brothers will be down to hang out and try something new with you. Whether it’s a music festival, food truck fair, NASCAR race, or dog show, don’t hesitate to invite some bros along. Sometimes, the most spontaneous and random experiences end up being the most cherished memories. 

Remember, staying connected over the summer not only strengthens your bonds but also makes coming back to campus in the Fall even more exciting. So, take the initiative, reach out, and make the most of your summer with your brothers! 

Dr. Rupprecht Named Assistant Vice President and Dean of Students

Dr. Stephen M. Rupprecht.

Former National Councilor, Dr. Stephen M. Rupprecht, Oswego State’91, has been appointed Assistant Vice President and Dean of Students at Kutztown University. Rupprecht has been a dedicated Phi Tau since his years as an undergraduate student, and not only held the position of National Councilor, but was also the Philanthropy Director from 1999-2002.  

With nearly 30 years of experience in higher education, Rupprecht previously held key student affairs roles in Philadelphia-area colleges, most recently serving as Dean of Students at Cabrini University from 2018-2022. He also served as Cabrini’s Director of Residence Life and an adjunct faculty member.  

Before Cabrini, Rupprecht spent 16 years at Drexel University, including 10 years as the Assistant Dean of Students and Director of the Office of Student Conduct and Community Standards. He managed crisis situations and played a pivotal role in transforming Drexel's fraternity/sorority community. 

Rupprecht holds a Doctor of Education from Drexel University and a Master of Arts from Bowling Green State University. 

On his new position, Rupprecht stated, “I’m excited to be back working on campus, and I’m particularly happy that this includes fraternity and sorority life. I believe in the great value of this experience, whether it’s Phi Tau or our interfraternal friends.” 

Congratulations to this Man of Distinction, who has remained dedicated to fostering an enriching environment for undergraduate students across the country.  

The Man Behind the Stripes

Ben with the “Road to Omaha” statue.

By Dalton Lee, Baldwin Wallace ’11

Ben Brownlee, Bethany '03, has dedicated much of his life to collegiate athletics; from four years of swimming at Bethany College to building a career with various conferences and at the NCAA over the past 17 years, Brownlee made a name for himself within the industry. Before arriving on campus in Bethany, West Virginia, Brownlee had already developed a fondness for the university. He first fell in love with the campus as a freshman in high school and only deepened his connections over the next four years. His route to Phi Tau was similarly destined to be—he had friends who were already in the Phi chapter before stepping onto campus, so he patiently waited for his chance to join and turn friends into brothers. Brownlee revered his time as an undergraduate member of Phi Tau and remembers his favorite moments of brotherhood being the little things—eating lunch together, playing intramurals sports, and having a community to lean on following the passing of his father.  

Ben at the NCAA Convention.

Following the completion of his degree, Brownlee began his career with the Presidents’ Athletic Conference, eventually moving to the West Virginia Intercollegiate Athletic Conference where he worked his way up to the Acting Commissioner. Following that role, he spent two years with the Moutain East Conference and got the opportunity to start with the NCAA in 2015. For almost nine years, Brownlee was the Assistant Director of the NCAA, where his primary function was to lead and expand the background check and vetting process for officiating hopefuls. As the NCAA worked to create a new role—Associate Director of Officiating—Brownlee was the ideal candidate, having already fulfilled many of the daily responsibilities of the position. For the last six months, he has continued to improve upon and ensure that the NCAA gets the most dedicated and honest officials possible. As sports betting and gambling become legalized throughout the country and widely more accessible, this job is of the utmost importance, and it is pivotal to ensuring the success and authenticity of collegiate sports.  

Ben and his wife.

Living in Indianapolis, Brownlee married his wife in 2018 and the couple now have twin daughters who are 4 and a son who is 2. Congratulations to a great Phi Tau man who is helping student athletes, spectators, and coaches have the most rewarding experience possible.  

5 Ways to Stay Cool, Calm, and Collected this Summer

By Craig Krygowski, Southern Illinois ’17

As May rolls in, so does Mental Health Awareness Month, serving as a timely reminder to prioritize our well-being. It's not just about looking out for ourselves but extending that care to our brothers too. Below are a handful of tips, tricks, and techniques you can use to help keep your mental health in check while also lending a hand to your brothers. Stay smart, stay safe, and make this summer one for the books! 

Stay Connected: Summer can sometimes feel like a solo mission, especially when you're away from your chapter. Keep the brotherhood alive by staying connected. Whether it's teaming up for online gaming or catching up on Zoom, make sure you're keeping in touch with your brothers.  

Be Your Brother's Keeper: Planning a summer getaway with your brothers couldn't be more exciting! But before you embark on your trip, make sure you've got each other's backs. Keep safety a priority, have a solid plan in place, and always know who to call if things take an unexpected turn.  

Make Time for You: Relax and take time for yourself amidst all obligations such as summer jobs, internships, and family responsibilities. Schedule activities that recharge your batteries, whether it's a solo stroll, relaxing in the park, or a hike. Remember, self-care isn't selfish—it's essential. 

Fuel Up Right: Don't let the heat drain your energy! Keep your internal AC running by fueling your body with the good stuff. That means staying hydrated and munching on meals that give you the power to tackle those long, hot days so you can continue having a good time. 

Go Outside: Why sweat it out indoors when you can take advantage of the beautiful weather?  Whether you're lifting weights on your patio, shooting hoops with friends, or simply going for a power walk, soaking up those Vitamin D rays can do wonders for your mood. 

If you are ever in distress, uncertain on who or where to turn to, please text PHITAU to 741741 for free, 24/7, mental health support. 
 
Other Resources:  
samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline  
thetrevorproject.org 
veteranscrisisline.net/ 
988lifeline.org/chat/

Boys Don't Cry - Spring 2024 Laurel Feature

By Dalton Lee, Baldwin Wallace ’11 

This piece is taken from the Spring 2024 Laurel, to read the full issue click here.

 

Suck it up.  

Rub some dirt in it.  

Boys don’t cry.  

These are words that countless children around the world have heard time and time again—more commonly spoken to adolescent boys and young men. They’re seemingly harmless and are often used as a remedy for a scraped knee or some insignificant bruise, yet the message has a staying power that could last a lifetime. As boys grow into men, so to grows the strong, silent mythology; literature, film, television, and all forms of media work to reinforce the belief that “real men” bury their emotions down deep and bully their way through all that life can conjure up—boys don’t cry. Being strong, no matter how hard, is not only your right as a male, but your responsibility. Slowly the basics of navigating the struggles and hardships of life seem foreign, and access to them feels impossible. Asking for help, admitting “weaknesses” as common as grief, crying from any type of pain has been unlearned and systematically buried by an environment which only has time for the strong. These strains plague men of all ages, demographics, economic and social statuses, but often we only know following the most dyer of circumstances. In a year of staggering loss within our fraternity and on college campuses across the country, these issues are as prevalent as they’ve always been. Breaking an endless cycle of this magnitude cannot come from a simple article in a magazine, but with the right information and motivation, Phi Tau men can begin to change the culture within our fraternity and throughout their lives. None of this is to say that there is an issue with embracing traditional masculinity. Chopping wood, donning a finely pressed suit, and fixing a car are some of the most enjoyable experiences a person can have when embracing traditional masculinity, but the challenge is separating the enjoyable traditions from the harmful ones.  

To the untrained eye, it would appear that men suffer from depression, anxiety, and other mental health disorders far less than women—women are nearly twice as likely to be diagnosed with depression and anxiety. However, the horrifying truth is that only 25% of men are likely to seek help for depression, anxiety, and other mental health disorders. A result of this inability to seek aid is that over 75% of the deaths by suicide in 2022 and 2023 were by men, and nearly all of those deaths were white men. With this being the primary demographic of our fraternity, it’s of the utmost importance that this knowledge is readily available to our membership. Along with depression and anxiety, men are at a higher risk for attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), which can be particularly challenging for an undiagnosed college student. The pressure and rigorous schedule of college aged individuals can be a stressful experience, and the presence of an undiagnosed mental health disorder does not simply exacerbate the situation but can be alienating and isolating for the individual facing it. Outside of the strenuous schedules that college students face, there also tends to be the consumption of alcohol and drugs on a regular basis. Following the highs of social events—which invite the consumption of these—the depressant effects of alcohol and mind-altering substances can affect an individual's mental health for many days and weeks to come.  

To some of you, the facts and figures of the information presented may be nothing new. It’s information often provided by campus health professionals, doctors, therapists, and countless others—typically paired with warning signs for depression, anxiety, and for someone at risk of self-harm. This is crucial information for any individual to know, but what is too-regularly overlooked are the steps to take prior to the most extreme circumstances. In joining this fraternity, you are engrained with the idea of being your brother's keeper. It’s a vow that you undertake and is one of the most important responsibilities of every Phi Tau man. With this vow comes the opportunity to shift the culture within your chapter and our fraternity as a whole. Being your brother’s keeper can’t be boiled down to simply being there when you’re most needed—although that is a crucial part—it is about creating a culture in which brothers feel they can be open, honest, and vulnerable. This type of culture starts with the self, and the ability to lead by example. In building and leading a chapter, no one has more sway on the culture created than you. Creating an honest and vulnerable environment, in which, there’s less shame and hesitation to share feelings, to ask for help, and to connect with others, is the first step to mitigating many of the mental health issue facing men of all ages. For Chi chapter President, James Ceribelli, North Carolina State '22, and Mental Health Chair, Reid Hernandez, North Carolina State '21, creating an open and vulnerable environment is of the utmost importance. In his position, Hernandez has appointed one member from each semester’s associate class to serve as a contact for brothers in need of an outlet to talk and shares information and resources for brothers at each chapter meeting. Preemptive steps like those taken by Chi chapter are the benchmark for all who truly wish to be their brother's keeper. Fellow brothers are not the only resource available to undergraduate students. In speaking with Tim Popma, Central Michigan '05, a certified LLPC and Assistant Director of CMU Cares, he believes it crucial that every student be aware of the counseling centers and resources available on their campus. Counseling centers frequently offer sessions at a reduced cost and can help guide students to finding professional help.  

In a perfect world, the ability to create an environment that mitigates these issues before they arise would be all that is needed, however that is far from the reality. Recognizing the signs of depression, anxiety, or severe mental health crises can aid in getting a brother, family member, or friend the care they need. The most common red flags are anger, irritability, or aggressiveness; noticeable changes in mood, energy level, or appetite; misuse of alcohol and/or drugs; physical symptoms, such as headaches, digestive problems, and pain; escapist behavior, such as spending a lot of time on work; and having difficulty sleeping or sleep too much. Not all of these signs are universal, and they’re not only for recognition in others. Accepting and recognizing these signs in yourself is the first step in getting needed help. Overcoming the nurtured belief that men should be strong enough to handle their own problems and resolve any issue without help is the second step on a path to grasping the enormous weight a disease like depression can have on you. Being your brother’s keeper and looking out for the ones you hold most dear must work in tandem with caring for yourself. Self-realization is vastly more challenging than recognizing a sign of something wrong in others; it requires an acceptance and awareness of the issue, and the strength to ask for help.  

For Phi Kappa Tau, renewing the focus on mental health is paramount to the well-being of our brotherhood. From the brothers of Chi chapter to National President, Mike McCrum, Texas State ’75, and CEO Matt Arnold, the ability to provide resources and information to our brotherhood has become a top priority. President McCrum has established a Mental Health committee, which although is still in the planning stage, has already begun to establish transformational resources for our undergraduate brotherhood. The Mental Health committee will be spearheaded by Tim Popma, who has been working with undergraduate students for over four years and strives to bring the type of care provided at CMU to our entire undergraduate brotherhood. Along with the committee, Phi Kappa Tau has launched our free 24/7 365 Crisis Text Line available to all of our brothers, not just undergraduates. This resource can be used for anything from finals stress to relationship problems to severe mental health crises. Phi Tau is paving the way for other greek organizations to provide the same type of care to their membership. If you’re in need of someone to speak to, in need of immediate care, or are in the midst of a struggle that seems insurmountable, text PHITAU to 741741

A fraternity in its most ideal and realized state could act as the perfect environment for men to share with each other, be open and honest about their feelings, and have no fear of being vulnerable with their brothers, but that is not always the case. Due to a number of factors—socialization, the presences of alcohol and drugs, pressures of a rigorous schedule—fraternities can sometimes act to the antithesis of the brother’s keeper mentality. Even when the brotherhood is firm in all the positive attributes listed throughout this piece, someone who is experiencing severe mental health issues will require professional help to overcome them, and it is the responsibility of us all to encourage them to seek the help needed and to provide resources for that care. Phi Tau men of all ages must make it their personal missions to be their brother’s keeper by not only acting as pillar of compassion and understanding for others, but as a beacon of honesty and vulnerability in themselves. When this example is set and the culture begins to shift, brothers can focus on staying educated, informed, and aware—no longer only acting in reaction to issues, but preemptively caring for and helping others. Through generations of socialization, the idea that boys don’t cry has acted as a conduit for mental health issues to fester and grow, but it has far outstayed its welcome. While it's nearly impossible to enact lasting change across the globe, it is possible to change acceptance within yourself, the dynamic of friendships, the culture of a chapter, and the mentality of Phi Kappa Tau.  

This piece would not be possible without the insight of Brother Tim Popma, the contributions of the Chi chapter, and the initiatives undertaken by our fraternity’s leadership. All statistics were drawn from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and the American Psychological Association.